E3 is coming and it's trying to kill me, but I lived through another very, very long day thanks to the power of ducks. Yes, duck power saved me. I am animated testament to this. You might be wondering how you too can harness potent duck power, but I'll tell you upfront that you can't. You just have to wait until that fortuitous day when a passing duck condescends to bestow it upon you.
Well, okay, enough of the incoherence. A coworker spotted a mother duck and her cavalcade of mini ducks tottering across a parking lot by the office and came to tell me about it. They were heading straight for the not-very-duck-friendly interstate highway, as it turned out, so we grabbed a box and went chasing after them (why is it that, in terms of ratio, regard for traffic is inversely proportional to cuteness?). It took only a few moments to catch the ducklings, but Mother Duck was having none of it. She let us know this by squawking and waddling rapidly in circular patterns, the brilliant randomness of which had us completely outmaneuvered. We had to enlist the help of the veterinary technicians in a neighboring building and the assistance of a pair of strangers in a passing car. Before we knew it, there were about eight of us on a little patch of grass next to a high traffic area, running around like arm-flailing spastic idiots trying to tackle a disgruntled duck. I'm sure the numerous passers-by all had a good laugh. When at last we apprehended the feisty thing, my coworker and I did the honors of trucking the powder keg of a duck-filled box over to a nearby pond. It was a bit of a hairy ride, but the noise and the fury ceased the instant their little duck feet hit the water. And what a gratifying sight. If I made a complete ass of myself - and there's no mistaking that I did - it was very worth it. I went about the rest of the day with a duck-appointed smile.
Well, I keep getting tagged, so I'll give in and be a good sport. I'm not going to go tagging other people, though. Those who've already been tagged seventeen (thousand) times seem a little adverse to it.
six weird things about me. Alright then.
1. On my planet, half and half is not just a coffee creamer. It's a beverage. A delicious, creamy beverage from heaven.
2. The people who know me well enough to call me Toast (that's short for Super Fast Toast) know that I'm really a sentient carbohydrate.
3. Sometime during the Neolithic period, I acquired a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
4. I am in possession of a seven foot tall giraffe named Hannibal. I have no particular affinity for giraffes, however, so I let him roam free in a corporate environment.
5. The one time I was pulled over by a police officer I was fully decked out in camo gear and driving with a trunk full of MP5s and M16s. The officer seemed more concerned by the orange soda I was drinking at the time, however. Evidently it was in a vaguely beerbottle shaped container.
6. I have a cat named Calvin and this is what he looks like when he's about to rough somebody up
uh, in a slap fight:
And, in other news, I've registered lackadaisycats.com (there's nothing there yet...my order is still being processed and I have to set up hosting). It's a clunkier URL than I would have liked, but just about every damn letter combination you can fathom ending with a dot-com has been snatched up. I plan to set up other means of access to the site, though, so that hopefully even myopic chimpanzees on speed can type well enough to find it
.which is good, because that's my target demographic.