So. I’ve been asked a torrent of questions about my pencil lately. In fact, I think it gets more attention than I do. Admittedly, this has led to a certain degree of, well…resentment for my pencil.
I feel it’s somewhat warranted, honestly, but in an effort to resolve this issue and assuage a growing bit of mutual animosity which could serve to damage our working relationship, we’ve started attending therapy sessions. The therapist recommended I do something morally “big” both to address my apparent “insecurity issues” and to remind my pencil I don’t in fact harbor a deep, seething, all-consuming contempt for it in which images of its horrifically violent demise play themselves out repeatedly in my head. Oh, and to reiterate that, in response to its popularity, I have absolutely not been mailing out death threats under the name Gunyoudown Stabbingstein Pilfercarcass III.
So! For my moment of moral biggulence, I‘ve decided to give my pencil a formal introduction. Here it is in all its, uh, glory. The little plastic debutante.

Now, the first thing you might notice is that there’s nothing particularly special about it. It’s of a cheapish, blackish nature with a cruddy eraser and some teeth marks and it cost me about $2 at the office supply store. It’s called Twist-Erase! The name not only tells you how to work the eraser, but it’s cute too. That’s mighty clever.

I realize I sound a little passive-aggressive or…abrasive-adhesive (massive-analgesic?) But all of this actually does have a point, and that is to respond straightforwardly (with inane, convoluted drivel) to the pencil questions that have come to haunt my existence.
So, without further ado:
*My pencil does not possess special abilities, Poke-powers or +2 against undead.
*My pencil did not incite the French Revolution.
*My pencil does not contain the disembodied soul of the crimson ninja who discovered the secret to time travel.
*My pencil does not render sepia tone tinged sweetly with age. It draws gray.

Exactly what kind of pencil -do- I use? The regular kind.

(Except I totally riced it.)


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And now, to be sincere (because if I try really hard, I can do that) I’d like to say thank you to everyone who’s been kind enough to visit or to comment on my somewhat disturbing cat-related art. When something disastrous comes of it, I can blame you all for encouraging me. Even those of you who were only interested in my pencil.

Seriously, you’ve all been way too nice.

For the curious, the comic [link] should officially begin in about the middle of July. Yes! There is something vaguely resembling a plot, even though I’ve only shown you random nonsense so far.

And, uh, if this sounded vastly more idiotic to you than even my previous journal entries, ummm…that’s because Rocky edited it for me. (He wrote “NEEDS MORE STUPID” in red pen all over the original copy and then lit it on fire.)